Fallen by Lauren Kate

Confession: I'm a sucker for book covers.If the cover is pretty, interesting-looking or just different, there is around a ninety-seven percent chance that I will buy the book. It doesn't matter if the summary on the book jacket sounds silly or potentially rage-inducing; I will buy said book because the cover is pretty and for all I know the book may actually turn out to be good.

Because of this, I've stumbled across books that I've immensely enjoyed (Julie Anne Peters' Luna, I'm looking at you) and books that I've absolutely detested (the first four House of Night books, for instance, which - yuck). As of late, however, the results of my ludicrous book-shopping tendencies have either fallen in the 'it was okay/mediocre' or just 'What the hell did I just read?' categories. As such, I've quite rightly (Hah!) grown wary of books with pretty covers.

And so, when I stumbled across this particular book, my eyes narrowed and my lips pursed[1] because while the cover is not necessarily 'pretty' it is certainly interesting enough for most people to look at it at least twice. The summary on the book jacket was kind of ambiguous, and to tell you the truth, rather formulaic. And by that I mean that it sounded like the story of just another Plain Jane (who, of course, really isn't a Plain Jane and everyone knows it but her) pining after a boy who not only doesn't return her feelings (except that, of course, he totally does) but also goes out of his way to publicly humiliate her (which is, of course, done for her own good).

See? Formulaic. And rage-inducing.

Even so, I shrugged off my doubts, admired the pretty, long black hair the model on the cover of the book possessed [2] and paid for the book, hoping for the best. Or at the very least, very little disappointment.

Fallen tells the story of Lucinda (Luce) Price, a girl who was sent to a school with he most ridiculous name to ever exist (Sword and Cross) because she's suspected of Arson. The place the school is located in dates back the Civil War, complete with its own cemetery and church-turned-gym. The students are strange or crazy, many with tracking bracelets on their wrists; there are security cameras everywhere and a fence to keep them in. Within an hour of being there, Luce immediately befriends a slightly questionable (albeit tolerable to me, as the reader) girl called Arriane and sooner than you may think, she's already drawn to a beautiful boy[3] called Daniel. Strangely, Luce has the feeling that she knows him from somewhere, but she doesn't get the chance to ask him if they've met because as soon as Daniel spots her, he gives her the finger[4] Luce is (quite rightly) surprised by the reaction this complete strange had to her, but nevertheless she doesn't find it in her to return the feeling of animosity he has towards her.

Throw into the mix an awkward best friend, an incredibly handsome suitor and the shadows that have been chasing Lucinda since the day she was born, and you have something that may even be mildly interesting.

It isn't.

I compare reading Fallen to have the shadows that chase Luce cover your eyes and make you walk down the street, with only your ears to help you narrowly miss (though not always) the passing cars. Except it's not the shadows the ones who deserve the blame for this; the culprit is the main character, Lucinda, and by extension, Lauren Kate. I don't really know what anything looked like; the prose was laughable and thus, the descriptions were poorly drawn, and sometimes conflicted. Visualizing the setting was impossible, and though I'd like to blame it on the fact that I've never been to Georgia (where Sword and Cross is), it just has a lot to do with the fact that Kate spends pages describing the staggering beauty of Luce's love interests and barely a paragraph at all on the reform school the main character attends to. I know sexual tension is the driving force in paranormal romances, but the plots have to at least make sense, as do the settings. This reform school she was sent to, had cameras everywhere but lacked the adult supervision that is common in normal boarding schools. I wasn't ever satisfied with an explanation why Luce, present at the scene of a tragic accident that happened before the book started, needed to even be at a reform school.

Whatever plot there is moves excruciatingly slowly, and every time something with the potential of being remotely interesting happened, Lauren Kate utilized her favourite tactic: She made Luce downright stupid, ignorant of everything but her school crushes. Although, if I'm being honest, this was something that happened all the time; Luce wavers through every single scene, allowing others to take control of her life and tell her exactly what to do and say - or not to do or say.Whenever she was called 'a bore' or a 'selfish, stupid teenager' I was inclined to agree, found myself having no sympathy for her at all, and rooting for the villain. To say that I understood the rest of the characters would be a lie, as Kate seems to go out of her way to stifle any possible character development there could be, because maybe it may be a spoiler for something she has in store for her next book[5]. But not unlike Luce, I wasn't supposed to notice that I wasn't getting any answers (except I did). I was supposed to be consumed by the hot guys the main character spent the entirety of the book lusting after (but I wasn't).

In short, Fallen is almost five hundred pages of Luce's internal dialogue of self-deprecation and confusion with the story sometimes happening in the background.[6]

NOTES

1- That was surprisingly not a shout out to the fact that Luce seems to do those exact two gestures every other page. It's kind of the way she reacts to everything:

Person A: Luce, the dog pooped in the living room!
Luce: *Narrows eyes and purses lips*
Person A: Luce, have you seen my chapstick?
Luce: *Narrows eyes and purses lips*
Person: LUCE, THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END AND I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU!
Luce: *Narrows eyes and purses lips*

2- I've always had a fascination with black hair. Blame JRK's description of Harry having jet-black hair (I blame her for a lot of things, so it's okay if you do) if you want, but that doesn't change the fact that I LOVE black hair. It also doesn't help that I've actually, in my entire life, only a met one girl who happened to have natural black hair.
3- Whatever happened to falling in love with a perfectly cute, albeit kind of average looking boy? I realize that there's nothing ~fascinating~ about that, but come on. Not only does it get old but IT'S ALSO UNREALISTIC, which I know shouldn't even be brought up because this is all fictional, but still. What message does that sent? That only people with outstanding good looks can be qualified as your One True Love. Fuck that right in the, er, place where the sun normally doesn't reach you? Anyways.
4- You'll have to forgive my excessive use of capslock but, I AM TIRED OF FICTIONAL GIRLS PUTTING UP WITH WHATEVER CRAP BEHAVIOUR HER LOVE INTEREST GIVES HER AT FIRST. I KNOW DANIEL HAD ~LEGITIMATE REASONS~ FOR HIS BEHAVIOUR [7] BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT HE WAS STILL AN UTTER ASS TO HER FOR ABOUT ONE HUNDRED PAGES! AND THEN, SUDDENLY (FOR WHATEVER ASININE REASON I CAN'T REMEMBER BECAUSE LUCE IS A BORE) HE ISN'T AND HE'S IN LOVE WITH HER AND SHE'S READY TO DIE FOR HIM (this is a legitimate quote from the book, right after he kisses her, which - WHAT THE HELL!!!) EVEN THOUGH ALL SHE KNOWS ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE'S BEEN A CONSTANT ASS TO HER EVER SINCE HE SAW HER. BUT OF COURSE ~FORGIVING~ THIS IS EASY BECAUSE A-) SHE FEELS AS THOUGH SHE'S KNOWN HIM ALL HER LIFE (BARF!!!) [8] AND B-) BECAUSE HE'S FINALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO HER.


I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS CRAP REASONING.


GIRLS, HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT, I BEG YOU. AND I NEVER BEG.


5- The sequel of this book is called Torment, and is already out and I won't be reading because I know that the only one who will be in torment if I read it will be me and not stupid Lice, I mean Luce.
6- Sound familiar? It should! Because it's Twilight all over again! And just about 75% of all the YA novels out there right now, too! Ugh.
7- Did I mention that the main plot of the book is that Luce is basically an old soul (LOL!) who is destined to meet Daniel, fall in love with thim and then die because a-) their love is forbidden since b-) he's a fallen angel. (another LOL!) If I didn't mention, though, my apologies; I just kind of have a hard time remembering that THIS is the plot of the entire book when it doesn't really get the importance it deserves because lusting after two hot boys (who happen to be fallen angels who don't like each other, of course!) is way better. Yipee!

7.1 I'm not even going to go over the fact that both of these themes (old souls and fallen angels) are fairly popular right now, because I actually like them. The problem is that writers rarely make them work, and Lauren Kate was obviously not the exception to this rule.
7.2 Don't ask me for specifics or any mythology in regards to the fallen angels or the old souls. Because there was none. All I know is that the shadows had something to do with both, but the details were quite poorly given (if at all) because, again - lusting after two hot boys is way more important than the things that have brought you misery for the past sixteen years or so. Yipee!

8- I just realized number eight was rather unnecessary. See: old souls.

★